Crushed.

Do you know how it feels like when your whole world is falling asunder?
When you are drenched with sorrow...
I am telling you, it is not a good feeling at all.

It is not the trust that is broken. Sometimes, it is simply the expectations and hopes on someone that you love -- taken away.

Even a best friend does that. When you hope and depend so much on her/him, they will make us disappointed still.

Sad isn't it? Well I think sometimes there is a reason behind it, but the feeling sucks.

The least expected person you wanted to be hurt from -- not your lover, but your best friend.

I think sometimes when we hope too highly on someone, without realizing it you are actually putting yourself on the line.

Do you know why a lot of people say:

Jesus could be anyone in your life. Your best friend.

You will NOT understand just how true these words are unless --- You experience it.

I guess I learned my lesson, is not to NOT trust someone, but to hope and expect too much from them.

Especially promises -- don't make them if you cannot keep them.

It sucks when it is broken. I am dead serious.

Because you take it personally when the word "promise" is in it....

Sigh, I guess this incident is good in a way, because it makes you realize how important God is in your life.

God will never be too busy, will never get too bored and brood over our problems.

I think I am learning to put my mutual trust and expectations on HIM, the one that I would learn to hope and expect more in life --- the flawless one.

Even though it is saddening, but it is joy to me at one end.

Because I realize just how important to be close to God. Not the intimacy, but trust, love, hope and expectations.

And I realized, in any relationships, either love or not.

It is not wise for one to love more than the other, but for both to have equal amount of love, hope and expectations.

It is impossible to achieve a 50% fair -- clean cut.

But it is a give and take process, where one is exceeds, it will be lowered.
And when the other lowered, it will be lifted.

I think I seen this verse in the bible, I cannot remember where, but it says, when one is lifted it will be humbled, and the humble will be lifted.

There will be times you will be disappointed, and there will be times you will recover.

The mutual relations of both sides must have a equilibrium. It will come up and down.

I guess I am done here.