Sigh... Ah great. Life couldn't be any better now. I had never in my life felt like this... I guess this might be my most depressing blog ever... sobs...
God, is not that I don't have faith in you, it is not that I don't believe... But, I am very tired.. Studies had consumed me, I had never studied so hard in my life before... I just cannot take it..
Physics! The sight of this 6 letter word had never failed to drive me insane! !@#$^% I read, okay, I don't mind reading.. But why I cannot just calculate a sum or just understand the question whenever I do it?? I don't understand! When I read, I could, when I do the questions, I can't...
What is wrong with me? !@#$%
Sigh, I feel better when I understand what I am reading... I guess God is testing me real hard! How I hope I can just... just believe in You, and have no doubt in any success that I can achieve.. But, exasperatedly, I need to try harder... I am tired of sighing already! I guess after this 2 days of intensive, deathly study plan, I had to give it to God, I can't do this alone! Just surrender to him, I am sick of worrying...
Whoa. I am actually gawking at the fact that I can study 6 hours of physics non-stop. I am not hardworking, at all, not until the extend, that I can study the subject that I hate the most for soo long! If it is chemistry or biology, I would be flying by now. Add maths and maths at least got help, But this.. this stupid parasite so called "PHYSICS" had landed on earth! Oh man, let me tell you, this is worst then HIV or Diabetes ( since I love sweet stuff soo much, I will have a paranoid feeling towards diabetes... you know... leeches and worms popping out from your leg with full of holes.. the smell would be how unbearable! Not only that, staring at the hammer that has to chop your leg off, it is just so disgusting!) What does the so call "science" subject plan to maim and destroy this peaceful, small little world? Can't you just see how happy am I without YOUR presence? Oh man, I am utterly speechless about this weird being. It will be one of the reasons of my death one day. Trust me.
Tomorrow will be another day of studying. Today is atomic bomb, guess what is going to happen tomorrow? Study group, oh golly. I had to experience this pain of loosing my hands and legs... sobs... What should I do? Go for study group? Or, go to church? Actually I really, really want to go for service, but my mum will have another meeting till 4pm 2moro.. Sobs... Oh Lord, what should I do?
I know that this is just the start of my life... studies.. is nothing compared any other problems that is going to happen in the future. God, please, give me a good night rest tonight. When I pray, I want to see You, not anything else. God, I know I can do this, I need to overcome this fear! I had to! If not I had to face diabetes in my dreams! NOOOO!!
Sigh, sigh, sigh, sigh, and another sigh. What can I say? I am dead tired now! Manage to cope till 12am. Normally saturday I would be onlining like mad. Now, I have to restrict it until 2 hrs, sometimes only half.
After this mess, I will be in Japan!
---Sealed----
3 comments:
Turning to the Lord in your most dire of moments.. I'm betting that that's making Him super proud of ya :)
Chill, things will fall into place just nicely. You'll get through tomorrow, your Physics exam and what-not. You'll be able to stand against all those calculations.
Heck, even if you fail, life goes on and time continues it slow progress, doesn't it? Heck if you fail, God will still love ya, isn't that right? Even if you fail, I know that that smile on your face, still won't be stolen, true?
But the thing is, you'll excel in them all. Either way, God WON'T love ya ANY LESS. He'll love ya all the same and pour out all His blessings on ya. Cheer up.
Don't be afraid of Physics. God created it, didn't He? And you're His daughter, so He'll reveal it to you.. in all its intricacies. Don't worry. Don't worry. See Him smiling at you, that comforting smile of a Father who loves ya so dearly?
Faith, Love and Hope.
Believe, believe and believe. Don't worry :)
God bless ya immensely, and open your eyes in your studies, and the constant realisation of how much He loves ya, and His ever-willingness to forgive ya :D
Chill...
Its not the end of da world..
haha, I'm saying this when I myself am dying...
U kenot do physics, I kenot do all science n maths subjects...
*&)(*_)&^%
ish...
Just pray hrad n ask God for help.
Well, that's the least we can do..
Hey Claudia, it's good to see u workin' so hard, but dun get too worked up like i mentioned earlier..Do ur best and God'll do the rest.I have to agree with ginny and brian.=)
Btw,u going to japan?????
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