Today, I had my accounting test. It also turned out to be one of my moodiest day ever.
Because I really cannot do a lot of questions.
I studied really hard for the exam... for days already... still very lost and confused to what to study!
And my lovely friend TAN YI LING (Haha yes you) really helped me a lot throughout the weekend. I asked her a lot of questions and she really tried her best to help me.
What was worse was that the thing she taught me this morning on the phone came out.
LIFO FIFO EXACTLY OMG.
And when I sat for the exam... my mind was totally blank.
It is like I cannot do at all!!!!
I was very happy when I was looking at it cos she taught me THIS MORNING.
But when I looked at it.... why I can't do?
To my aghast, it has 6-7 related questions in it.
Freaking a lot of questions ok.
I was like, Ok nvm... work on essay questions 1st. Maybe I can do later.
Mana tahu... I got carried away with the essay Q!
When I finished teacher was like.... 15 minutes left!!
I knew I don't have enough time, and I started to panic.
I was literally freaking out, and it made it worse.
I can't do at all.
Till the end, I just simply colour the objective sheet.
The remaining questions that I left it behind I just colour it simply and passed it up to the teacher.
After that, we had a feedback session... and I was really very disappointed and sad over myself.
Why did that just happened?
All the negative and self condemning thoughts started to pour down like rain.
I was so moody and downcast the entire day.
I had no mood to eat, to anything... and I can't find comfort in anything that I could think of. No happy thoughts could make it go away.
I was just so tired. Physically and mentally... I was really exhausted.
When I went back home... I talked to God.
To my dismay again, nothing happened.
I can't cry, can't anything.
I was just tired. I wanted to sleep so badly.
I was like, God, I don't know what to talk to you. I am just really tired.
And I went to sleep.
After I woke up cooked for dinner.
Strangely... I suddenly felt much lighter.
And I was like... why did I make just a big fuss over that problem?
Isn't my God greater than my problem?
That thought just dawn on me. And I was like, yeah... why?
Why did I have to treat a test as if it is like the end of my world? What if I fail? Wouldn't God help me?
Suddenly.. so weird.
Then something dawn on me again.
Elijah. Read about him.
And I was like... ok lor. Read la.
And I remembered about what happened to Elijah.
1 Kings 19
1 Now Ahab told Jezebel everything Elijah had done and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. 2 So Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah to say, “May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them.”
3 Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, 4 while he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness. He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, LORD,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” 5 Then he lay down under the bush and fell asleep.
I was like... ok wait. The ending part... it felt like me.
My heart started to beat faster... I was kinda nervous, thinking that this is NOT happening.
Then, the bible said
7 The angel of the LORD came back a second time and touched him and said, “Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.” 8 So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. 9 There he went into a cave and spent the night.
I was like.. omg, did my life was just reflected in the bible? No way!! Not anything else, but THE BIBLE OMG.
As I said just now, I was really tired. I can't even pray or talk to God. And as the previous verse said, Elijah slept. I slept.
The verse was exactly what I was going through. I was so tired. Prior to my accounting exam, I had another test the other day. I didn't have enough sleep (plus mensus), and I have been studying accounting for 2 days like a mad person. And God said the journey was too tough for me. He wanted me to rest.
And then, another revelation came about.
Read Matthew 11:28
And it says:
Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
I was like... totally speechless omg. What happened earlier was in the bible. It is like, as if I am living through the events of Elijah. What the crap seriously??
I was at utter shock when I read the thing. Words cannot express what I felt. Out of a sudden, the presence of the Lord came over me.
I started to cry and laugh at the same time.
I felt joy like never before. Everything that happened this morning and the past few days disappeared. I just felt like there is nothing to worry about, I was just so happy!
This encounter I have with God today, is not any dramatic encounter where I see angels and everything. It was simple, but the magnitude of it was just wow.
Till now I cannot believe that my life was really like I mean - in the freaking bible!! This God I tell you - is freaking amazing.
He knows exactly what you are going through. And he knows exactly what to do to pick you up.
Many a time we forgot how great God is because of our problems. That we forgot that God is bigger then the problem!! At that moment, it is as if our problems are bigger than God.
So I pray for everyone - for those who are going through problems, as Matt 11:28 says, come to the Lord, and he will give you rest!
For those who have yet to encounter him - don't worry! His timing is perfect! Just ask the Lord, and wait on Him! As I said, He knows exactly what to do with you!
For those who have experience, I pray that God will give your more encounters! So you will love him more and more deeply each day!
P/S: Watch this video by
Kim walker. Really encouraging :)
